omg seriously....
my first shift back after my little break was hell. not only did i have a giant kids party take up my section, but they barely ordered anything and sat there for like two hours. ouch.
the only table i had worth anything was a complete pain in the ass to wait on. we want appetizers... no wait we want it all together... no wait... what are your specials
no wait.... quit being an ass hole.
the only good part of my night..... i was spared from the hellish private event taking place on the other floor. has anyone ever encountered the event planner from hell? well multiply that by one million and that was the event planner running the event. Event planners need to remember that the service staff is there to help you get your event done right. if you yell at us profusely and then continue to rant to our management staff about things that are out of our hands... we are going to be less inclined to help you. get over yourself and your job title.... you are not the fucking pope.
tip of the day: if you are an event planner and you yell at me... i will make it my personal goal to make your event suck.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Ahhhh let the holidays begin
Its been about a week or two since my last post. I was enjoying a much needed break from the world of waitressing. Thanksgiving has traditionally been the start to the holiday season and in a way the start for people becoming frantic and pushy.
Now.... the Wednesday before thanksgiving is usually one of the biggest drinking nights of the year. Which means you go back to where you grew up... go to the local bar... and have conversations with people that really don't matter. This year I decided to take the night off and enjoy it because i freaking deserve a little break.
we went to a pub which is really the only acceptable place in my home town other than a gross a smelly bar at the other end of town. Of course it was jam packed with people and my first thought was..... i feel bad for the service staff. Everyone likes to be busy but no one likes to be working when you cant even get to the table s to make money. Anyway.... my friends and i found a table in the back of the bar that was a little less crowded and finally got the attention of the waitress.
I don't know about you guys but when i go out with my friends to a place that is busting at the seams... i like to be the person to take control at the table and make the servers job that much easier. The poor waitress had to stand there and wait for my friends to decide what kind of shot they wanted for about three minutes. So of course when she came back with the shots, she was obviously pissed off.
As soon as she walked away my friends started talking trash. So help me god... i will never stand by and let people i know shit talk on a waitress. I schooled them on what its like to work in a bar that is so busy you cant move... i also informed them about how valuable those three minutes were that they wasted. I eventually ordered another shot and let the waitress know i was "in the industry". It was nice to see her relax for a minute when i said those words.
total bill: 25.00, total tip: 20.00........... tipping karma.
tip of the day: never shit talk a waitress when you are sitting at a table with one.
Now.... the Wednesday before thanksgiving is usually one of the biggest drinking nights of the year. Which means you go back to where you grew up... go to the local bar... and have conversations with people that really don't matter. This year I decided to take the night off and enjoy it because i freaking deserve a little break.
we went to a pub which is really the only acceptable place in my home town other than a gross a smelly bar at the other end of town. Of course it was jam packed with people and my first thought was..... i feel bad for the service staff. Everyone likes to be busy but no one likes to be working when you cant even get to the table s to make money. Anyway.... my friends and i found a table in the back of the bar that was a little less crowded and finally got the attention of the waitress.
I don't know about you guys but when i go out with my friends to a place that is busting at the seams... i like to be the person to take control at the table and make the servers job that much easier. The poor waitress had to stand there and wait for my friends to decide what kind of shot they wanted for about three minutes. So of course when she came back with the shots, she was obviously pissed off.
As soon as she walked away my friends started talking trash. So help me god... i will never stand by and let people i know shit talk on a waitress. I schooled them on what its like to work in a bar that is so busy you cant move... i also informed them about how valuable those three minutes were that they wasted. I eventually ordered another shot and let the waitress know i was "in the industry". It was nice to see her relax for a minute when i said those words.
total bill: 25.00, total tip: 20.00........... tipping karma.
tip of the day: never shit talk a waitress when you are sitting at a table with one.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
I'll have a burger with a side of bitch
The burger was not cooked by me.
I did get you refills.
I'm sorry your life is miserable.
But please ..... spare me the scowl.
Besides I can scowl way harder than you can.
Attitude problems are a result of people treating me like I don't know how to do my job because other people fuck up. My bad I forget my running side work duty of doing everyone else's job correctly.
You got your free food. I got my grat. Life is fair. but you still suck :)
tip of the day: Scowling at your waitress is stupid. You just give everyone in the restaurant a chance to make fun of you. Congrats. Your a moron.
I did get you refills.
I'm sorry your life is miserable.
But please ..... spare me the scowl.
Besides I can scowl way harder than you can.
Attitude problems are a result of people treating me like I don't know how to do my job because other people fuck up. My bad I forget my running side work duty of doing everyone else's job correctly.
You got your free food. I got my grat. Life is fair. but you still suck :)
tip of the day: Scowling at your waitress is stupid. You just give everyone in the restaurant a chance to make fun of you. Congrats. Your a moron.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
A Helpful reminder from aol.com
Today as I was reading through the top news stories of the day I came across a wonderful little article about do's and dont's at the thanksgiving table. As far as I am concerned... this applies everytime you eat outside of the rock you live under.....
the link is... http://living.aol.com/holidays/top-11-dinner-table-fouls
Just in case you are too lazy... or you dont want to leave my wonderful blog here is the list.
11. Lick your fingers and smack your lips while exclaiming "that was finger-lickin' good!"
10. Loudly announce “I’m stuffed” or “I shouldn’t have eaten all of that” while rubbing your belly and unbuttoning your pants.
9. Blow your nose into your napkin or cough without covering your mouth...especially while passing the potatoes.
8. Leave food on your fork then wildly wave it around as you talk.
7. Before eating, cut up your entire plate of food into tiny bite-sized pieces.
6. Pile as much turkey, mashed potatoes, peas and stuffing on your fork as you can, then stuff the entire thing in your mouth.
5. Rock back in your chair so just the rear legs are touching. Grab onto your neighbor every time you start to lose your balance.
4. Tuck your napkin into your collar, belt, or between the buttons of your shirt.
3. Pick all the food out of your teeth with a toothpick, your fingernail, a dinner knife or your tongue. Better yet, take out your findings to examine them.
2. Use your knife or fork to dig out any food or dirt lodged under your fingernails. Leave your "treasure" on the side of the plate.
1. Participate in the conversation despite a mouth full of food or drink.
If only they knew how often I see this stuff happen.... le sigh
the link is... http://living.aol.com/holidays/top-11-dinner-table-fouls
Just in case you are too lazy... or you dont want to leave my wonderful blog here is the list.
11. Lick your fingers and smack your lips while exclaiming "that was finger-lickin' good!"
10. Loudly announce “I’m stuffed” or “I shouldn’t have eaten all of that” while rubbing your belly and unbuttoning your pants.
9. Blow your nose into your napkin or cough without covering your mouth...especially while passing the potatoes.
8. Leave food on your fork then wildly wave it around as you talk.
7. Before eating, cut up your entire plate of food into tiny bite-sized pieces.
6. Pile as much turkey, mashed potatoes, peas and stuffing on your fork as you can, then stuff the entire thing in your mouth.
5. Rock back in your chair so just the rear legs are touching. Grab onto your neighbor every time you start to lose your balance.
4. Tuck your napkin into your collar, belt, or between the buttons of your shirt.
3. Pick all the food out of your teeth with a toothpick, your fingernail, a dinner knife or your tongue. Better yet, take out your findings to examine them.
2. Use your knife or fork to dig out any food or dirt lodged under your fingernails. Leave your "treasure" on the side of the plate.
1. Participate in the conversation despite a mouth full of food or drink.
If only they knew how often I see this stuff happen.... le sigh
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The glory of Saturday shifts
Nothing is more wonderful than awaking to a phone call from a manager who is in the middle of a panic attack....
Manager-"Ummm... hi.... can you come in early? We are on a two hour wait and there are only two day servers on."
me- (in my head) fuck no I'm still sleeping (in reality) "yeah I'll be there in an hour... let me jump in the shower."
So I know right off the bat that this is gonna be one of those Saturday's.
As I walk in, I head to the computer to clock in and the kitchen manager hands me a notepad with four orders on it... tells me the drinks have already gotten to the table but the food hasn't been rung in yet.
I say ... um hi.... what table numbers?
Can I put my uniform on and clock in first?
Who the fuck is managing? Because they need to be fired.
All in all it was pretty hectic.... I had an entire floor with 12 tabs to myself... which was kinda fun cause I'm always telling them I could run that place by myself. I made about 150 in two hours. So really, I cant complain.
Next....
To the managers. I know you have 80 million other things to do, but honestly when I tell you at 6 p.m. that we are running out of printer paper... you should probably listen. I am only trying to prevent what happened. Around 9 p.m. (the height of our rush) one of my co-workers decides to run a credit card... alas no printer paper. I try to tell people but they just don't listen.
As far as the customers go...
If you are having a child's birthday... and the area you are in smells like poop.... Its probably one of your kids. Change that smelly ass diaper. Secondly, when you do decide to change that diaper... please do it in the bathroom and not in the plain view of other people trying to enjoy their food. I know that in your eyes that child is precious and perfect... but to me... it just looks like an ass covered in shit... keep it private.
tip of the day: Management- rent a brain, customers- poopy diapers stay in the bathroom.
Manager-"Ummm... hi.... can you come in early? We are on a two hour wait and there are only two day servers on."
me- (in my head) fuck no I'm still sleeping (in reality) "yeah I'll be there in an hour... let me jump in the shower."
So I know right off the bat that this is gonna be one of those Saturday's.
As I walk in, I head to the computer to clock in and the kitchen manager hands me a notepad with four orders on it... tells me the drinks have already gotten to the table but the food hasn't been rung in yet.
I say ... um hi.... what table numbers?
Can I put my uniform on and clock in first?
Who the fuck is managing? Because they need to be fired.
All in all it was pretty hectic.... I had an entire floor with 12 tabs to myself... which was kinda fun cause I'm always telling them I could run that place by myself. I made about 150 in two hours. So really, I cant complain.
Next....
To the managers. I know you have 80 million other things to do, but honestly when I tell you at 6 p.m. that we are running out of printer paper... you should probably listen. I am only trying to prevent what happened. Around 9 p.m. (the height of our rush) one of my co-workers decides to run a credit card... alas no printer paper. I try to tell people but they just don't listen.
As far as the customers go...
If you are having a child's birthday... and the area you are in smells like poop.... Its probably one of your kids. Change that smelly ass diaper. Secondly, when you do decide to change that diaper... please do it in the bathroom and not in the plain view of other people trying to enjoy their food. I know that in your eyes that child is precious and perfect... but to me... it just looks like an ass covered in shit... keep it private.
tip of the day: Management- rent a brain, customers- poopy diapers stay in the bathroom.
Friday, November 9, 2007
ewwey
waitress does not equal moron.....
if there is a problem with a reservation do not take it out on the server. A table of mine had a problem with their reservation and decided that it was the waitresses fault. I am not in charge of taking reservations nor do i know anything about the party that management does not tell me. If there is a mistake in these cases, I can almost garauntee you that I had nothing to do with it. Therefore.... don't make me pay for someone elses mistake.
I do not cook the food, make reservations, or control how long the wait is for a table. I understand that when you go out to eat you just want to enjoy yourself. And i make everything as good as it can be with in my power. I make sure you get the drinks on time... i make sure that the salad you ordered has all the right modifications because you cant just order whats on the menu, I also make sure that you have everything you need while at my table.
Anything else that goes wrong is not in my hands. Please remember that when you calculate the tip.
Thanks.
tip of the day: 20% is acceptable... anything else is a slap in the face.
if there is a problem with a reservation do not take it out on the server. A table of mine had a problem with their reservation and decided that it was the waitresses fault. I am not in charge of taking reservations nor do i know anything about the party that management does not tell me. If there is a mistake in these cases, I can almost garauntee you that I had nothing to do with it. Therefore.... don't make me pay for someone elses mistake.
I do not cook the food, make reservations, or control how long the wait is for a table. I understand that when you go out to eat you just want to enjoy yourself. And i make everything as good as it can be with in my power. I make sure you get the drinks on time... i make sure that the salad you ordered has all the right modifications because you cant just order whats on the menu, I also make sure that you have everything you need while at my table.
Anything else that goes wrong is not in my hands. Please remember that when you calculate the tip.
Thanks.
tip of the day: 20% is acceptable... anything else is a slap in the face.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
The Importance of Please and Thank You
People... listen.
I am a waitress. This also makes me a human being. If you do not want shitty service here is a clue. Saying please and thank you will catch my attention. I understand (for the most part) that there are a lot of people who really don't know that we don't get paychecks or how to tip for that matter. Not exactly their fault.
However.... The lesson of please and thank you is a lesson taught from very early on by most civil people. Learn it, live it, love it. because otherwise i will ignore your stupid ass.
Next on the agenda.....
Fellow co-workers ditching out on side work.... you suck.
Is it really that hard to grab a few fucking sugar packets and fill the god damn sugar caddies? And really.... I'm not into rolling silverware for you. We all know (servers that is) that rolling silverware is the shit end of our job... so please spare me the pleasure of doing your shit work.
And lastly...
Managers.... I know that you do nothing in that office all night. When i am in the weeds and you decide to come out to the FOH (front of the house).... please do not bother me with stupid shit about seating numbers or soda refills. If it bothers you that much... please feel free to HELP rather than ridicule... that is a part of your job.
If i am clearly running my ass off and about to dive head first into the weeds, it does nothing more than piss me off to watch you eat your free meal at the bar. 1. why don't i get a free meal?, 2. why cant i sit at the bar and eat, 3. Where in the hell do you find the time to sit and relax and eat... because as a server i definitely have to eat a chicken finger while doing a roll up with one hand and filling a soda glass with the other. That's fucking multi-tasking bitches.
ahhhh love it
tip of the day: Please and thank you people. enough said.
I am a waitress. This also makes me a human being. If you do not want shitty service here is a clue. Saying please and thank you will catch my attention. I understand (for the most part) that there are a lot of people who really don't know that we don't get paychecks or how to tip for that matter. Not exactly their fault.
However.... The lesson of please and thank you is a lesson taught from very early on by most civil people. Learn it, live it, love it. because otherwise i will ignore your stupid ass.
Next on the agenda.....
Fellow co-workers ditching out on side work.... you suck.
Is it really that hard to grab a few fucking sugar packets and fill the god damn sugar caddies? And really.... I'm not into rolling silverware for you. We all know (servers that is) that rolling silverware is the shit end of our job... so please spare me the pleasure of doing your shit work.
And lastly...
Managers.... I know that you do nothing in that office all night. When i am in the weeds and you decide to come out to the FOH (front of the house).... please do not bother me with stupid shit about seating numbers or soda refills. If it bothers you that much... please feel free to HELP rather than ridicule... that is a part of your job.
If i am clearly running my ass off and about to dive head first into the weeds, it does nothing more than piss me off to watch you eat your free meal at the bar. 1. why don't i get a free meal?, 2. why cant i sit at the bar and eat, 3. Where in the hell do you find the time to sit and relax and eat... because as a server i definitely have to eat a chicken finger while doing a roll up with one hand and filling a soda glass with the other. That's fucking multi-tasking bitches.
ahhhh love it
tip of the day: Please and thank you people. enough said.
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